Sex & Confidence.

I get asked this a lot. Variations include “Where do you get your confidence” and “How can I become as good as all the other girls”.

What I want to know is, when did we all forget how to sex?

Sex is raw instinct. We are biologically programmed to reproduce. It is a factory installed operation that comes with no rules, no instructions. Penis + Vagina = Sex. Simple.

It’s not mean’t to play out like the perfectly scripted final cut of a porn film, with infinite wetness, perfect sound bites and ongoing erections. There will be elbows in faces, slurping noises, broken beds, mess, strange, animalistic grunts and uncontrollable laughter. Men will miss and hit you in the wrong spot, women will catch with their teeth occasionally and sometimes embarrassment will occur.

Embrace it. There are no rules or rehearsals and it can’t be edited afterwards. No matter what you do, enjoy it. Laugh at it, cry about it, do it in every room in the house or only ever in a darkened room under the sheets - it doesn’t matter as long as it is pleasurable to you.

Its not about kneeling in an enviably stylish room with perfect hair while Mr Von Hugendong wanks over your perfectly made up face.

Its about the purest pleasure of all. Your pleasure.

Does it feel good for you? Then yes. You are doing it right.

Ownership.

Being owned or owning someone is a privilege. It is not a right and it doesn’t give you the right to force another to abide by only your rules.

There is far more to it than controlling or being controlled by someone, wearing the collar, following orders & rules and carrying out the rituals. Even pure erotica isn’t the important element when it comes to ownership.

Desire. Passion. Respect. Adoration. That’s what it’s about.

Knowing that these things exist in a your partnership without having to draw attention to it. Placing your complete trust in each other, being able to read the other and know exactly what they want without being asked. 

Being there to catch one another. Sharing moments and making memories. Compromising so both you and the other are happy.

Its about devoting yourself to another and sharing in everything you do through the good and the bad. Its about catching one another if you fall. Its about love.

Orders.

The PVC corset took 15 minutes to get on by myself. The boots took around 7 seconds. I am not permitted to wear anything else. I take a picture and send it through text message„ desperate for it to be on time.

This is the first of my 2 tasks for the day. I have been told not to take them off until task 2 is complete. I try to be patient, trying to prevent my hand from sliding up by body to my exposed pussy. I sit on the cold, leather chair, desperately awaiting the soft ping of a new email, my next order. I feel myself getting wetter and look at the clock. Ten minutes has passed and nothing. I cant take it. The feel of the PVC tight around my waist and hips is too much and I begin to stroke myself gently, imagining what my master wants me to do next as my sex swells up.

Then the door opens. I panic, jumping out of the chair and walking quietly and briskly to the top of the stairs. I peek round the corner praying that it isn’t the children being dropped off early.

A large shadow crawls across the floor and a man in a suit appears at the bottom of the stairs. He looks up at me, a wicked expression on his face. I am frozen to the spot.

"One minute late" he says, climbing the stairs slowly. My heart is thudding in my chest.

"S-s-sorry Master. I won’t do it again".

"Not good enough". 

He grasps my arm and drags me through to the bedroom, turning me away from him.

"Bend over" he commands. I obey all too hastily, resting my elbows on the bed in front of me. I hear the clinking of his belt being undone and the sound of leather and fabric rubbing as he pulls it through the loops. 

The clanking stops and their is a pause. It feels like minutes pass and i feel my wetness begin to slide down my legs.

Crack. I whimper pathetically. Crack, Crack, Crack. Each time the same sorry whimper escapes.

"One for every second I was kept waiting" he growls. But instead of another smack I feel the silky, cold sensation of lubricant being applied to my rear end. He thrusts one finger in, then two and extracts them just as vigorously. Grabbing my hair and pulling me back, he enters my ass roughly and I cry out in pain. It hurts more than it has ever hurt before, but I find myself growing closer to an intense orgasm with every thrust.

"I want you to cum. Now".

I let go and we cum together. He rolls off me and I float in submissive euphoria.

Emergency!

My ex boyfriend, R, knew I liked it rough. Oh boy did he know how to give it to me, despite being under average (this is not a dig at his size at all because my god, he knew how to work it).

It was great. It was pure, vanilla love. Unfortunately there were two incidents - one which landed me in hospital - which I only wish I had foreseen before we went at it so hard we even cracked one of the floorboards.

Sub Drop

Now that I have the experience I know how to handle any injures or crises what may arise. Starting simply, sub drop is a common phenomenon in D/s relationships. In a nutshell, sub drop can involve anything from feeling a little down to very depressed through to full blown flu like feelings. It is also worth mentioning that the drop can hit you any time between a few minutes to a whole week afterwards. Physical symptoms can include feeling shaky and light-headed, fatigue, muscle aches and headaches. There are emotional symptoms too, which generally derive from a chemical imbalance in the body, including 

It's important in such situations for the Dominant in the relationship knows the signs and how to carry out after care appropriately. It is equally important for the Submissive to communicate exactly what they require in after care to the Dominant - whether a long term partner or a first time play partner.

First Aid/Emergency Kit

Our first aid kit includes a number of items for different occurrences.

For Sub Drop:

- Favorite Blanket & Pillow
- Little Bunny (childhood plushie)
- Crisps
- Chocolate
- Wine/Pepsi/Water/Teabags
- Free Cuddles
- A Notepad & Pen (So i can write)

For Minor Injuries:

- Elastoplast Spray Plaster
- Antiseptic Wipes
- Aloe Vera Burn Gel
- Lidocane Numbing Cream
- Plasters
- Bandages
- Sterile Gauze
- Steri-Strips
- Pain Relief (Paracetamol, Ibuprofen)
- Arnica Gel (Perfect for Bruising)

For Emergency Situations:

- EMT Scissors (Rope Play)
- Benadryl allergy tablets
- Eye Rinse
- Arm Sling
- Splints
- Heat Pack
- Cold Pack
- Muslin Cloths
- Hot and cold compress

I would also recommend (especially if you attend play parties) that you take a basic first aid course and/or carry a manual on the basics. You have no idea how handy it is when you find yourself needing it.

The most important thing is to try and prevent accidents from happening in the first place, but by having the equipment you need there when you need it you can prevent further illness or injury.

Sensual Consent

We were sat upon the sofa tonight once the children were in bed. My legs, donned in thigh high stockings with frills and bows, lay across his as he gently tickled me which is pretty standard when we sit together. As always he was whirling my pony tail gently around in his hands as we spoke about the day.

I don't notice the tone change and gasp pathetically when he pulls my head back using my hair, kissing from my neck up to my lips. He bites my bottom lip at the same time as he squeezes my breast hard, provoking another high pitched yelp.

"That's enough for now" he says, letting go and leaving me to my arousal. He plays gently with my pony tail again, picking up the previous conversation where we left off as if nothing had happened. His other hand brushed across my naked shoulder and down my side, avoiding my breast and going straight to my waste. I internally pray that he will take my nipple in between his thumb and finger and pinch mercilessly. He doesn't.

Remember that it's not about you. You are here for his pleasure and only his.

Walking the tightrope that is parenting & a Master-Slave relationship

We are parents. We have also begun indulging in our Master - Slave relationship almost (but not quite) full time.

There was always an underlying sense of submissiveness in the bedroom, but we never truly started exploring until this year. Now that it has begun growing its way out of the bedroom we are looking for ways to keep it at a level suitable for a PG audience.

For us, it is as simple as using the rules we are setting for public behaviour and modifying them slightly. An example of some of our "protocols" in and around the house are as follows:

1. When he comes home, stop what you are doing and greet him. Make him a drink and talk to him about his day.

2. When he says "Babe, can you just...." he isn't asking you. He is telling you subtly.

3. Master gets to play with your ponytail whenever he likes. 

4. Master always cooks dinner unless he fancies one of my speciality dishes.

5. Your garter must be worn at all times (especially when out). Then, when the children are in bed the collar goes on too.

6. When master contacts through text you must reply in half an hour (except if in an exam/at doctors/in a meeting). If master is asking you to complete a task you must text back within a specified time-scale (with proof of said task completed).

7. Child related decisions must be made together and agreed upon as a family.

8. When you refer to master in front of family/friends, call him "Daddy" or "Babe".

9. If you have asked Master for something and he grants permission, always say "Thank you, Daddy/Babe"

10. Always be honest with Master and he will return the courtesy.

At the moment we have found the balance and don't wish to oversaturate the rulebook too much for fear of overdoing it. These rules work very well and slot nicely into our  family life without corrupting the children or being overly archaic in their nature. We are still walking the tightrope and these rules could change as our relationship grows and we learn together.

Remember that the rules above are rules that we set together and work for us. Every couple is different in the way things are done and my advice to you would be to stay true to your relationship and your own family dynamic.

"I love being dominated"

The subject always comes up in the pub, when alcohol is most definitely involved. My new line of work is a female saturated environment, with the only men we see either being in management or assistant roles. So when a group of us got together for the first time, wine in hand, it was only natural that penis would be the main topic of conversation.

"I love being dominated" chirps T, with a gleam in her eye. My ears prick up. Something in common?

We all laugh together. "What kind of stuff are you into" i ask, imagining that T may just have a secret dungeon hidden away in her basement somewhere.

"I like to be handcuffed and blindfolded while he ravishes me" she blushes. I try not to frown in disappointment as images of bondage ropes and hardcore whipping scenes worm they way out. I shake out the judgement but the word "Vanilla" sticks in my mind.

I get the same feeling of disappointment when someone tells me they are "really into hardcore erotic fiction" and it turns out they have only read 50 shades of Grey.